Love and Marriage

A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not beside her in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?" she asked.

"Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?" he asked. "Yes, I do," she replied. "Do you remember when your father caught us in my car kissing?" "Yes, I remember." "Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?'" "Yes, I do," she said. He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know...I would have gotten out today."

Sadly, for many people, marriage feels just like that- a prison. They feel trapped in a relationship they believe is stifling their freedom and happiness. Many couples start out so in love but gradually grow more and more distant from one another. The causes of this growing apart are numerous, but the result is always brokenness and isolation.

But that's not God's plan. In Genesis chapter two, we learn that God intended marriage to be a relationship of oneness, not isolation. In verse 18, God says, “It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him." Verse 24 reads, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.”

So, how do we preserve this oneness as God intended it? The Apostle Paul gives us a roadmap. “Each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” (Ephesians 5:33) If we want our marriages to reflect the oneness God intended, the key is mutual submission. Ladies, that means watching what HE wants to watch now and then. And guys, that means spending a day doing what SHE wants to do once in a while. We must learn to put our spouse's needs and wants ahead of our own. When we do that, the result is that we grow closer to one another and we prevent the danger of gradually drifting apart.

Whether you're married, used to be married, or want to be married some day, we can all promote God's plan for healthy marriages. We can pray for our friends, our family, and our neighbors, that husbands and wives will know the joy of oneness and Godly companionship. If you are married, pray that God will help you to love your spouse sacrificially. Pray that He will show you how to put your spouse first.

God bless you!

Pastor Andy